What did he say? What did she say?
by Super Puppy
Summary: On a dare, Brock asks Jessie on a date. Surprisingly, she accepts. Now Ash and James plot to split them up while Misty and Meowth bet on the results. And is there a James-related plot twist a-coming? Random comedy fic! I love James, so be warned.
1. Chapter 1: Realization

I came up with the concept for this story earlier today while I was bored out of my mind. It's just a bunch of random fun with a surprising plot twist at the end. So stay tuned!

Disclaimer: I own nothing! I swear! Don't kill me!

Please read and review. I love reviews of any kind. Very, very much. SRSLY. REVIEW NAO PLZ.

**Chapter One: Realization**

"Oh Joy, my love, let us run away together!" Brock exclaimed. He dropped to one knee and extended his arms towards the slightly nervous Pokemon Center nurse.

"Um…" Joy searched for the words to politely shoot down the now-singing Brock. Thankfully for her, Misty interjected before the situation grew any more awkward.

"NOW CUT THAT OUT!" She thundered as she grabbed Brock's ear and yanked him away. Ash, who had been merely a spectator until this point, took the chance to address the nurse himself.

"Well, thanks again for treating our Pokemon! I know they were tired after the long trip here. Weren't you?" Ash directed the last question at Pikachu, who had perched on his shoulder.

"Pika pika!" It nodded its approval.

Meanwhile, Misty was railing at Brock for the umpteenth time, "Don't you have any self-restraint!? There isn't a single woman you've ever met that you haven't tried to score with!"

"Well, what about you? I certainly don't want to go out with you," Brock replied slyly.

"I meant except for me. AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO DATE ME, ANYWAY!?"

"Erm…" Brock tried to think of something to say that could calm down the simmering redhead. However, he was interrupted by a huge crash as the roof of the Pokemon center had a gargantuan hole torn into it. The section of roof seemed to disappear as it was sucked into what appeared to be some sort of enormous vacuum. Everyone in the building looked up to see that there was indeed a large tube ravaging the center. The tube was attached to a large mecha. Apparently dissatisfied with the roof snack, the tube turned on back room of the PC and began to inhale the Pokeballs that were stored there.

Inside the mecha, Team Rocket tittered over the brilliance of their new plan.

"Ooh, this is our best scheme yet! We'll have an entire Pokecenter of Pokeballs to give to the boss this time!" Jessie squealed with delight.

"Dis time we'll be rich for sure!" Meowth agreed.

"I don't know guys," James pondered, "what makes this plan different from the hundreds of others we've tried?" This outburst only earned him a bonk on the head from his teammates.

"Come on Jimmy-boy, dis one's foolproof!" Meowth declared proudly, "Dere's no way dose twerps can stop us now!"

"Well, if you say so," James sighed dejectedly.

"Aw, don't be so sad! Just tink what da boss will do when we give him all dese Pokemon!" Meowth began, "Why, he'll be so happy. Imagine the boss on his way to the bakery for a loaf of bread. It's a beautiful day, but da boss is in a sour mood. He can just call out some of da water Pokemon we captured and make it rain on his parade! Or, imagine dat he's at a big party where there's lots of dancing! And if he's not a good dancer, why he can just call out some electric Pokemon and short out da music system! Or perhaps he's in da mood for a nude unicycle ride –"

"MEOWTH!" Jessie and James screeched at him.

"Whats da matter?"

"You're not making any sense at all!" Jessie raged.

"Where the hell do you come up with these crazy circumstances anyway?" James agreed.

"Okay look, let's just go do da motto and scram!" He told them. Then he mumbled to himself, "Youse guys gots no respect for imagination..."

"Right!" The pair agreed, apparently only hearing the first part. Jessie pushed a button on the control panel of the mecha and a panel opened, revealing the Rocket trio.

Right on cue, Ash, Misty and Brock all cried, "TEAM ROCKET!"

_Of course it's Team Rocket,_ Pikachu thought exasperatedly, _It's always fucking Team Rocket you imbiciles!_

"Prepare for trouble, while I eat an orange!"

"And make it double, when… um… er… you asshole…"

"To protect the world from devastation!"

"To unite all peoples within our nation!"

And so the motto went on. And as it came to a finish, and as Ash called forth his Pikachu, and as Team Rocket's expensive machine was ruined and they were sent flying through the air again, and as Ash and Misty rejoiced, Brock was not paying attention.

Brock was thinking about Misty's words from before the incident.

And he realized something.

He realized that there was in fact one girl he knew that he had never asked on a date.

He realized that if he were to prove Misty wrong, then he might just have to go on a date with Jessie.

And he was frightened.


	2. Chapter 2: The Question

Here's chapter two of my random story! Please enjoy!

Disclaimer: I still don't own anything.

Also, thanks you to SoujaGirl and WillyWiluhps for reviewing! It is greatly appreciated! Again, I love reviews of all kinds, so please give me some.

**Chapter two: The Question**

"Hey, Brock?" Misty looked at her distracted friend, "You haven't said a word since the Pokemon Center. What's the matter?"

The trio was walking down the street of the town, looking for a way out. Now that they had saved the day, they were ready to go save it again in the next town.

"Huh?" Brock turned to her, snapping out of his daze, "Nothing's wrong. I just realized that you were wrong, that's all." He smirked.

"What?" Misty was glaring at him now.

"Well," he began, "you said that I've asked out every girl I've met, but there's one I haven't."

"Oh really?" Misty was skeptical, "and who might that be?"

"Jessie!" He replied proudly.

Ash choked on the soda he was sipping, "Wait, you want to date _Jessie_? That's crazy!"

"Woah there! I never said I wanted to date her; just that I've never tried!" Brock said quickly, shaking his head.

Misty's eyes sparkled deviously, "Hey, why _don't_ you try and go on a date with Jessie?" She asked carefully, "think about it: if you guys were an item, then no more trouble with Team Rocket!"

"No!" Ash and Brock disagreed in unison.

"Come on! I dare you!"

"Well…" Brock seemed to be considering it.

"Brock! You can't be serious!" Ash shook his friend by the shoulders, "Snap out of it!"

Brock wasn't paying attention him, "She has always looked good in that uniform. Maybe it's worth a try."

"Yeah Brock, go for it! If you keep them from trying to steal our stuff every day, I promise I'll never be mean to you again!" Misty encouraged him.

_You fools! _Pikachu thought, _this will never work!_

"Pika pika chuuuuu!" The Pokemon tried to warn them.

"See, Brock! Even Pikachu thinks it's a good idea!" Misty misinterpreted the Pokemon's speech and patted it on the head.

_Ugh…_ It thought, shaking its head.

_Meanwhile…_

"JAMES!" Jessie shrieked.

"What's the matter, Jess?" James looked up. They were in a small clearing outside the city. Meowth was napping, Jessie was fussing with her hair, and James was attempting to repair the destroyed mecha without much success.

"Am I pretty?"

James collapsed backwards, "Jessie, do we have to do this now?"

"TELL ME I'M PRETTY!"

"Do I have to?"

"Yes! I need to feel appreciated and loved!"

"Then try not being a bitch all the time!"

"You're pretty! Now stop all dis shouting!" Meowth yelled down at them from the tree he had been resting in, "I'm trying to get some beauty sleep!"

"Thank you, Meowth!" Jessie said, her voice dripping with syrupy-sweetness, "And don't tell me what to do you furry idiot!" She tossed a stone at his head.

"Yeah, yeah…" Meowth rubbed his temples.

"Owww!" James whined, interrupting the argument.

"Oh now what's wrong!" Jessie wheeled around to face her partner.

"I banged my finger with the screwdriver," he complained.

"Quit whining!" She snapped.

"But it hurts!"

"Ugh. James, you're such a woman!"

"Well one of youse twos has to be!" Meowth shouted down. Jessie lugged another stone at him and James hurled the screwdriver.

"Well dat's what I get for tryin' to lighten da mood around here…" He grumbled. Deciding he'd had enough, he climbed higher in the tree and resumed his evil slumber.

Jessie again turned to James, "And another thing –" she began, but was cut off by the sound of arguing coming from nearby.

"Hey," James said, "I hear twerps approaching."

"Yeah."

The two of them crept closer to where the sound was coming from and hid behind the bushes.

"And I'm telling you," Ash was saying, "That that's impossible because wombats do not have gills!"

"And I'm telling you," Brock countered, "That there's now way –" He stopped short when he say the badly-hidden Rocket duo watching them.

"Hey what do you losers want!?" Misty shook her fist at them. Suddenly, she remembered her dare to Brock, "Actually," she changed her tone, "Brock has something he wants to ask you, Jessie. Brock?" She turned to him.

"Uh… well… erm…" Brock stammered, turning red, "Ah the hell with it. Will you go out with me?"

"WHAT!?" Ash and James were in shock.

Jessie turned to James, glanced back at Meowth, and then finally returned her gaze to Brock. She thought about it.

"Sure. Why the hell not."


	3. Chapter 3: The Plans

Here's chapter three of my story! As I was writing this, I came up with a few more ideas to thicken the plot, so it's going to get more interesting now. Please keep on reading!

Disclaimer: I still don't own anything. 'Cept mah stories of course!

Also, thanks to WillyWiluhps again and to kyuuketsuki fang for reviewing! I still adore any and all reviews!

**Chapter three: The Plans**

Misty and Brock walked alongside each other down a beaten forest path, whispering about Brock's upcoming date with Jessie.

"I can't believe you actually asked her out!" Misty exclaimed, "I mean, she's a psychopath!"

"A very beautiful psychopath," Brock countered, "besides, you dared me to!"

"I didn't think you'd actually do it!"

"Then why did you tell me to!?" Brock inquired loudly.

"'Cause it's funny! Besides, you know she's going to dump you eventually anyway."

"Not if I dump her first!"

"No! You can't do that!" Misty was suddenly looking devious, "You have to wait for her to break it off."

"Why?" Brock looked exasperated.

"Because that's how you win," Misty answered with finality.

"Win what?"

"You don't get it, do you?" Misty sighed, "You have to make her crack before you do. Y'know, give up first. That way, she'll feel really awkward around us and maybe Team Rocket will finally leave us alone! It's brilliant!"

"All right…"

"Goody!" She squeaked, "now let's go get you something nice to wear on your date." She winked at Brock, then turned round to face Ash, who had been stalking about thirty paces behind them and hadn't said a word to either since they left Team Rocket, "Hey Ash! We're going to stop at the next town to buy Brock some clothes!"

Ash answered her with a glare.

"What's your problem anyway, Ash?"

"What's my problem? Do you not realize that Brock is now dating someone from TEAM ROCKET! You remember Team Rocket, those people that have been our enemies for the last ten years! …Or however long it's been in this world!"

"Oh, Ash, you don't understand. This is an adult situation that must be handled carefully. You see, this is more of a rivalry then a relationship." Misty shook her head.

"Whatever…" Ash turned his eyes back to the ground and resumed sulking.

_Meanwhile…_

"Jessie, you've really lost it this time, you know that?" James was fuming.

"Why, whatever do you mean?" Jessie asked innocently.

"You're dating a twerp! I mean, why Brock? Why not… I… what the… ugh!" James' face started getting red as he turned on his heel and stomped off, throwing his hands in the air.

Meowth took the opportunity to slide up next to Jessie. It was clear that he had an idea. "Now Jessie," he began, putting his arm around her, "don't worry about Jim, it's just his time of da month."

"I HEARD THAT!"

"Shut up. Anyway, I see this as an opportunity. Tink about it! If we get close with dose guys, we can benefit! Dey always mess up our plans, but what if we're workin' together? We'll be unstoppable! And we'll get rich!"

Jessie's mind abruptly turned from romance to cash. Dollar signs lit up in her eyes. "I like your words, keep saying 'em!"

"Well, da other option is simply get da twerps to let dere guard down and swipe dere Pokemon when dey ain't paying attention!"

"Even better! Meowth, you're a genius!" Jessie cried. She hugged him tightly.

"Ack… the genius can't breathe!" Meowth choked.

She promptly released him. Meowth took a deep breath, then continued, "Da main problem is dat twerp Ash. He's totally against dis, which means he'll never trust us! And of course dere's captain PMS over here too…"

"SHUT UP YOU FURRY IDIOT!"

"I rest my case."

Jessie looked thoughtful. "That's true. If you can handle those obstacles, then I'll worry about seducing Brock."

"Sounds like a plan. You leave dem to Meowth!"

Business completed, Jessie and Meowth shook hands and began to go about the task of calming down a very jealous James.


	4. Chapter 4: Preparation

The plot continues to thicken! This is getting good. Stay with me please, people. I tried adding more writing and less dialogue to get the story moving a little faster so it doesn't get boring. This chapter is also a little bit longer then the others. Hope you like it!

Disclaimer: Still nothing.

And thanks to kyuuketsuki fang again and to Zombiez (yes, I know it's you) for reviewing! Still wanting reviews!

**Chapter three: Preparation**

"How do I look?" Jessie squealed excitedly. She spun around a couple of times, her new dress twirling behind her. She'd put a lot of effort into her outfit for the first date, in her typical Jessie way.

"I dunno, Jess," James mumbled. He was still adamantly against the entire situation.

"What, you don't like it?" Jessie glared at her partner, almost willing him to say no.

"You look like a damn Christmas tree!"

"Well, NOBODY ASKED FOR YOUR OPINION!" She roared. But she herself had been questioning her green dress and large green earrings with her red hair. She just figured Brock wouldn't care.

"You look great, Jessie!" Meowth encouraged, jumping in front of the sulking James, "Dat twerp will fall for you for sure!"

"You really think so?" Jessie was eating up the attention she'd been getting lately from Meowth. She started twirling again.

"Jessie, people are staring…" James groaned, burying his head in his knees. They were currently in a somewhat classy clothing boutique where Jessie was trying to find shoes to match her outfit.

"Well, I'm just so beautiful that they can't take their eyes off me!" Jessie sang, waving at all the confused store patrons. Meowth laughed as James tried without success to disappear into the wall he was leaning against. Upon failing, he stalked away to observe other parts of the store.

"Oh, the date's only a few hours away," Jessie whined, "And I just can't pick which shoes to wear!"

Meowth looked at the two pairs she was debating between. He didn't really care which ones she picked, but he was impatient to get out of this boring, stuffy shop.

"Um… get da ones on da right. I like dose," Meowth pointed at his selection; a strappy sandal with the highest stiletto heel he'd ever seen.

"All right! If you say so!" Jessie grabbed the pair Meowth had chosen and started dancing (yes, dancing) towards the register.

"Okay, let's get outta here," Meowth seemed relieved to finally be able to leave. While Jessie bought the shoes, Meowth turned to fetch James, as he had retreated to a far corner of the store to try on expensive hats.

_Meanwhile…_

"Ooh Brock, try this one on!" Misty giggled, throwing another pile of clothes into his already overloaded arms.

"Misty!" Brock cried, his voice muffled by shorts, "I can't see!"

"That's okay, I'll guide you!" Misty shouted. She was full of energy and excitement as she dragged Brock all over the huge clothing warehouse she had found, trying to get him into every decent clothing item she could grab.

"I can't breathe!"

"Oh, quit complaining!"

Ash watched the conversation with little interest, still determined to show how much he hated this plan. He stomped his feet everywhere they went and refused to talk to either of them. However, this wasn't as effective as he'd hoped because Misty and Brock were simply ignoring him. By the time Misty was satisfied with the amount of clothes Brock was carrying, Ash's feet and legs were sore from stomping. So, he found a comfy chair outside the dressing rooms and sat there trying to look furious until the pair had finally decided on an outfit. Misty then proceeded to half-lead half-drag her friend to the register, and Ash resumed stomping behind them. By this point, Misty had wasted most of the time that Brock had to get ready, so he had to run into a public restroom to change and stuff his regular clothes into the shopping bag. Misty spent the remaining time fussing with Brock's hair and collar before shoving him into the restaurant where he and Jessie were supposed to meet.

"Okay guys," Brock hissed at his friends, "It's time to am-scray."

"Time to what?" Misty asked loudly.

"LEAVE."

"Oh, I get it. Come on Ash!" Apparently oblivious to his overdramatic anger, she grabbed Ash by the wrist and led him cheerfully out of the restaurant.

_Meanwhile again…_

"Meowth, you big idiot! How could you lose track of time!" Jessie screamed. She was running as fast as her ungodly new shoes could carry her towards the restaurant where she and Brock were supposed to be meeting in just a couple of minutes.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry!" The cat wailed, dreading what was going to happen to him after the date was over. Presently, they reached the building and Jessie took just a few moments to straighten herself up before walking through the doors, holding her head high and trying to maintain the air of a princess.

Meowth stood outside watching as James slowly walked up, not having bothered to run after them. He looked as if he was about to say something when he was interrupted by the voice of Misty growing louder as she dragged Ash outside with her

"Oh, I get it. Come on Ash!" She was saying. She stopped short when she say James and Meowth standing a few yards away, staring at her. She waited a moment before remembering that they weren't really enemies right now and greeted them cheerfully, "Hi James! Hi Meowth!" As the words were leaving her mouth, she got a devious idea.

"Um… hey, Meowth? Can I talk to you for a sec? I have a proposition for ya." She grinned at him.

Meowth jumped at the chance, "Of course ya can twer— erm… Misty." He ran over to her and they took off walking, speaking quietly.

This left Ash and James, standing on the sidewalk glaring at eachother.

"I don't like you!" Ash declared.

"Well, I don't like you either!" James shot back.

"And, I don't like this dating thing! I don't trust you!"

"Well, I don't like it either!"

Suddenly, the two stopped fighting and looked at each other for a moment.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Ash asked carefully.

"Well I might be, except I have no idea what you're thinking, so I don't know!" James' voice grew shrill on the last part of that sentence.

"We gotta break them up." Ash said flatly.

James looked thoughtful for a moment before his eyes lit up, "And I just might know a way to make that work."


	5. Chapter 5: The Date

Hi again guys! I just realized that at the top of chapter four I mistakenly wrote "chapter three." Sorry about that, but it doesn't appear to have caused any confusion, so let's all just go about our lives.

And thank you to kyuuketsuki fang yet again (I'm going to start dedicating chapters to you! 3). Also thanks to Sydney. I love reviewers, and if you haven't noticed, they all get a special mention at the beginning of each chappy. Thanks for all your support, everyone!

**Chapter five: The Date**

"Meowth, I think we both know that this relationship is doomed to fail." Misty stated bluntly, looking down at the cat.

"My dear twerp, I beg ta differ," Meowth replied calmly. "Ya see, dis could be a benefit for both sides of da party. If we aren't enemies anymore, den Team Rocket won't have ta worry about youse getting in our way when we're carrying out da Boss's orders!" Meowth looked proud of his answer, but conveniently withheld that the real plan was to stab the twerps in the back.

"And what's the benefit for us?" Misty asked impatiently.

Meowth looked shaken. "Oh yeah, I forgot about youse guys."

Misty gave him a bonk on the head. "I'm not interested in your wacko theories! Think about my idea instead: If Jessie dumps Brock, which I believe she inevitably will, then things will be so awkward that we'll never have to associate with each other again! Which is what we all want." Misty crossed her arms and glared smugly at Meowth.

"No way! We need to become a team here! We can help each other out!" He was strongly against the redhead's plan.

"Oh, now we're a team? What happened to us staying out of your way?"

"Well, ah…"

"Get your damn story straight you stupid cat!" She bonked him again.

"Owwww… you're almost as bad as Jessie!"

"I AM NOT"

"Like hell you ain't!"

Misty took a deep breath. "Look Meowth, we may have opposing views, but maybe there is something we can do to make this work out. I think we should hint at Jessie to break up with Brock, and then we can be out of each other's hair for good!"

"Not gonna happen!" Meowth crossed his arms and shook his head. "Dey need to stay together so we can become allies."

"That's never going to work! As I said, this relationship is going to fail anyways. Let's make it fail in a good way."

"No it's not! Dey can stick it out for da good of dere friends."

Misty suddenly saw an opportunity to beat Meowth at his own game. "Betcha they can't," she told him, egging him on.

"Betcha dey can!" Meowth insisted, taking the bait.

"All right," Misty sat down on the ground and motioned for Meowth to do the same. "How much?"

_Meanwhile…_

"Soooooo… how 'bout that weather?" Brock asked nervously, drumming his fingers on the table.

"Um… it's nice… kind of chilly lately…" Jessie replied, trying her best to be nice. Both were secretly wondering how they ended up in this situation in the first place.

_If only I hadn't been so pissed off at James when he asked! _Jessie thought hopelessly_._

_How did Misty talk me into this again? _Brock searched his memories for the reason he was there.

"Well, um, how's life? Y'know, being a twerp and all." Jessie desperately tried to move the uncomfortable situation forward.

"Good. I guess."

"That's nice."

"Mm-hm."

A waiter suddenly glided into view with a notepad in his hand.

"Hello, may I take your order please?" He inquired kindly.

Jessie and Brock both jumped at the opportunity for something not awkward.

"What would you like to eat?"

"The smoked salmon, please," they both said in unison. They stopped short and looked at each other, surprised.

_Maybe we have more in common than we thought!_

_Meanwhile…_

"Okay, here's a thought," James pitched. "Maybe we could try faking our own deaths –"

"No," Ash said, his voice deadpan.

"How about we kidnap them while they're sleeping, and –"

"No."

"Well, maybe I could jump off a cliff in order to –"

"No."

"Or perhaps –"

"No."

"But you didn't even hear my idea yet!" James whined.

"Well I know it's a bad idea!" Ash was visibly frustrated.

"How do you know?"

"All your ideas are bad ideas!"

"Well, I don't see you coming up with anything!"

"Just shut up for a minute!" Ash snapped. "We need to think about this and handle it carefully. Why are you in such a hurry to split them up, anyway?"

"No reason."

"Riiiiiiiight…"

"Shut up twerp!"

Ash studied James' face. "You're hiding something."

"No I'm not."

"Yep! And I'm going to find out what it is!"

James suddenly looked worried.

_Oh no._ He fretted. _What if Ash figures it out?_


	6. To my readers reviewers: A note READ!

_**kyuuketsuki fang**_: I'd like to dedicate the next coming chapter to you, my most devoted reviewer. ^^

_**Kasuchi, Koichi**_: First of all, thank you for writing such a thoughtful review, and for your compliments. But you should pay closer attention. First of all, note my summary. You'll see that I promised a James-related plot-twist. You'll also see that James is my favorite character as well (Yay fellow James-lover! ^^)

Also: "Brocketshipping" is my new Word of the Day. Hahaha!

And about Misty/ Jessie: I don't really like 'em either. They're annoying and bitchy. But some people do like them, and I want my fic to appeal to all audiences. Everyone has a valid part.

As for your pairings: Good choices. I especially like the third one. (Again, love James.)

When/ Where: Y'know, I didn't really put a whole lot of thought into this part, now that you mention it. I'm going to say: In Kanto, around episode 100.

_**Bianca**__:_ I'd also like to take this time to extend a special thanks to my friend Bianca, who's been my biggest fan and is pressuring me to keep getting these chapters out at least twice a day. You should all thank her too!

_**Next chapter**_**: **_**Coming in a few hours, most likely (Or whenever Bianca tells me to write it).**_

_**To EVERYONE:**_**Make no assumptions. Read until the end.**


	7. Chapter 6: Manipulation

**Chapter six: Manipulation**

"You have _how_ many siblings?" Jessie was incredulous.

"Nine." Brock answered proudly.

The two had slowly begun to get along with each other over the course of their forced date. They were each finding it interesting to get to know more about the other. Jessie had told Brock of her past growing up in foster homes, flunking out of Pokemon Tech., being in the bike gang, and eventually joining Team Rocket. Brock told Jessie the story of Onix, his first Pokemon, how his parents left, and his time as a Gym Leader. He was in the process of talking about his siblings.

The conversation was interrupted, once again, by the waiter. "Are you enjoying your meal?" He asked politely. His voice was smooth and practiced.

"Yeah, it's great!" Brock replied enthusiastically.

Jessie was in the middle of a bite of potato, so she merely nodded.

"Well, that's good to hear." The waiter bowed slightly and took his leave, gliding as if he were on skates.

Jessie swallowed hard and took a few deep breaths, obviously tired out from her potato escapade. "So," she began finally, "tell me more about Forrest."

_Meanwhile…_

"Oh, come _on_, it's so obvious!" Ash was almost bouncing up and down with excitement as he proceeded to analyze James' behavior.

"What do you mean?" James asked. He tried to go for innocent, but just ended up looking nervous.

"Come on, you know what I mean." Ash nudged at James with his elbow, chuckling.

The Rocket was sweating, "No, no. You've lost me." James shook his head and waved his arms in front of him, laughing in a terrified high-pitched giggle.

"Okay, here's my theory…" Ash began.

"Oh, do I have to hear the theory?" James groaned loudly.

Ash ignored his comment and plowed on. "You're in love with Jessie! I know it!"

James said nothing for a moment. He seemed to be planning his words. Ash stared at his face. The expression was unreadable. It looked a little bit like… relief. Ash was befuddled. Something was odd.

_That's not it you indescribable dolt! _Pikachu hissed in his thoughts. _That's much too obvious!_

James looked as if he were about to say something, but was cut short when he saw Misty and Meowth running towards them.

"James!" Misty spoke first, panting. "I need to talk to you!"

"Oh no you don't!" Meowth shouted. He leap-frogged over Misty's head and charged towards Ash. As soon as he reached Ash's side, his demeanor turned from competitive to amiable. He put his arm around Ash and began speaking with as much of a friendly tone as he could muster, while leading him away from the other two. "So Ash, I have something I tink you'll want to hear. A proposition, if you will. Ya see, I've come up with a theory about dis relationship between our evil bitch and your eyeless twerp. I tink it could benefit both parties if dey remain a couple. Your dear friend Misty brought up da fact dat it may not last without our help. So, I need you to talk to your friend and make sure he doesn't let this end. Whaddya say?"

As Meowth was giving his speech to Ash, Misty tried to sway James' opinion.

"So James," she began casually, "Meowth and I have been talking, and we don't think that this whole dating thing is a very good idea for our friends. You see I - erm, _we_ - think it would be better for all of us if this just ended before it began. But I need your help. I need you to convince Jessie to break it off with Brock now so we can get on with our lives."

"Well…" James seemed to be suspicious of the idea.

Misty changed tactics. "YOU'D BETTER HELP ME OUT HERE YOU BIG IDIOT! I'M COUNTING ON YOU!"

"All right, okay! Sure!" James desperately appeased her, not wanting to anger the fiery girl.

"Good, good!" Misty turned nice again just as quickly as she had turned nasty.

Ash, on the other hand, was not being so easily swayed by Meowth. "I don't like it." He was saying. "I think this whole thing is just a bad idea. We should just end it all and get back to our lives."

"Come on, Twerp. You just don't realize how good this is!"

"No. I don't like it." Ash turned his head away to signal he was finished debating.

"Well, well Meowth," Misty said smugly, "it looks like I win!" She pulled down her eyelid and stuck her tongue out at him. "Nyeah!"

Meowth was livid. He did _not_ want to lose this bet. Suddenly, he got an idea. "Hey Jimmy-boy, let me talk to you for a sec." He walked over to James. "See, we've tought this over, and decided dat da best course of action is to influence dis relationship to continue –"

"But I thought you decided –"

"Well the decision's changed! Don't listen to dat crazy girl, just hear me out!"

"No!" James looked suddenly angry. He appeared to be having one of his rare bouts of self-thought. "I'm tired of being manipulated. You all can figure this out without me!" He turned and stalked off without another word, leaving the other three to squabble.


	8. Chapter 7: Teamwork

It's time for chapter seven! Sorry this one is rather short. I was busy today. Haha!

To my reviewers:

_Sydney:_ Thanks! Meowth did end up getting all the good lines in this one.

_Jazzykid1_: Haha! Coincidence indeed. Thanks for reading and for the kind review.

_Kasuchi, Koichi_: Wow, five minutes? Thanks so much! Oh, and you know I'm going to _have _to make this yaoi now, just for you! Hahahahaha. I'm evil.

_kyuuketsuki fang_: Spunk indeed. That's a great word for it.

**Chapter seven: Teamwork**

Meowth was more than a little frightened.

"Now, come on youse guys, can't we all just see dis my way?" He chuckled nervously, rubbing his paws together.

Misty and Ash stood over him, glowering. They were determined to get him on their side so they could break up the newfound relationship between Jessie and Brock. Meowth was stubborn, however, and still thought it in his best interest to let it last.

"Come on, Meowth! Don't you get it?" Ash was quickly growing frustrated by the feline's antics. "Everyone would be happier if we never saw each other again." He was all too eager to get the meddlesome Team Rocket out of his life.

"Yes, Meowth." Misty chimed in. Her voice was overly sweet and her eyes filled with malice. "I think you'd better help us out."

"N-no! I don't t-tink so!" Meowth stammered, slowly backing away from the enraged twerps.

Ash looked as if he wanted to say something, but before he got the chance, Misty scooped Meowth up by his hind paws and held him up.

"Hey! Whaddya tink you're doin'! Put me down! I'll sue for harrasement!" Meowth struggled frantically to free himself from Misty's iron grip.

Totally ignoring him, Misty walked over to a decorative fountain near the front enterance of the restaurant and suspended him over it.

"No Come on! What is dis? I can't swim! I don't wanna die I don't wana die I don't wanna die!" Meowth started to cry.

"Now will you help us?" Misty's voice was cold as ice.

"Yes! Okay! Whatever you want!"

She immediately dropped him on the ground next to the fountain. He landed on his head.

"Easy on the merchandise." He grumbled, rubbing his ears.

Misty put her foot on his tail to keep him from running off and beckoned Ash to come over and join them, then addressed them both.

"I have an idea."

_Meanwhile…_

"Woah, I can't eat another bite." Brock sighed with content and leaned back in his chair.

"Yeah," Jessie agreed. "I haven't had a meal that good in years!" She squealed with delight.

They had both thoroughly enjoyed the delicious food served at the restaurant. The best part, they had agreed, was the desert. Jessie had ordered a chocolate brownie sundae and Brock had ordered a strawberry cheesecake.

"So Jessie," Brock began, "I've been wondering this all evening."

"Hmm?" She looked up at him.

"Why are you being so nice to me?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well…" Brock said, searching for the right words. "You've always been so… loud. But you're acting different. You're being… well, normal."

Jessie's eyes hardened. "And what is _that_ supposed to mean?"

"What? Nothing, nothing." Brock changed the subject as he saw Jessie's fuse shorten.

_How does anyone put up with her?_ He wondered hopelessly.

After calming down, Jessie picked up the small talk about the food again. After a while, the waiter came over and told them that if they were all finished, the restaurant needed the extra table. The pair took their leave and stepped out into the cool evening air. Their pleasant date, however, was about to take a turn for the worse.


	9. Chapter 8: Anger Management

Really sorry for the late update everyone! I'll speed it up, I promise. Perhaps.

To my reviewers:

_Fang_: *Revives*

_Bianca:_ I'll try. But no promises.

_Sydney:_ Thanks! Sorry, this one's longer.

_Kasuchi, Koichi:_ Yes, poor Meowth indeed. I'm being mean to him. And too bad! You get it anyway. Maybe. BWAHAHAHA.

_Jazzykid1:_ Thanks again!

_Hayley:_ I know you do. I'm fabulous.

**Chapter eight: Anger Management**

"Now listen up!" Misty said with authority. "We have to convince Jessie to break up with Brock. I believe the best way to go about this is to simply play to Jessie's ego. Like, tell her that Brock is not worth her time."

"Well, Jessie certainly has a big ego." Meowth offered.

But Misty only looked agitated. "Yes I _know_ that you stupid cat."

"Well ex-cuuuuuuuuse me!" Meowth was offended. "Then I guess I won't tell you my idea."

"Now Meowth –" Ash began, trying to bring him back.

"Talk to the paw!"

Ash sighed dejectedly. "Nice going, Misty. We get him on our side for five minutes and you go and ruin it with your stupid attitude."

"I DO NOT HAVE AN ATTITUDE!"

"You kiddin'?" Meowth laughed mockingly. "You're almost as bad as Jessie, and let me tell you, dat woman has issues."

"You're gonna get a one-way ticket into that fountain if you don't shut your big _meowth!"_

Ash sweatdropped. "Nice pun. Did 4kids write that one for ya?"

"SILENCE!"

"Hey, here's a tought." Meowth interjected. "Let's go split dem up before we all kill eachother."

"Right!"

_Meanwhile…_

James wandered along the city street, wondering why on earth he'd exploded and left in the first place.

_Ugh, now what am I gonna say when I go back?_ He wondered without much hope. _Maybe I should just do what they tell me. That always seems to make things easier._

He passed a Pokemon center while he was walking. He remembered that his Pokemon hadn't really had much of a chance to heal since the last run-in with the twerps. Not that they really needed to, since Ash just attacked the Rockets directly before long anyway. But he figured it was a place to kill some time. He was about to enter when he realized he was still in uniform. Not having any dresses, makeup, or wigs on hand, he just turned the overshirt of his uniform inside-out so the R wasn't visible.

_Why have I never thought of this before?_

He meandered into the PC, trying not to look suspicious. The Nurse Joy there greeted him warmly.

"Good evening! Welcome to the Pokemon Center. How may I help you?"

"Well, my Pokemon are a little tired out from battle. Can you heal them?"

"Of course! That's my job, isn't it?"

James was slightly embarrassed. "Yeah." He suddenly remembered that his Victreebel had received a particularly nasty blow from Pikachu's Iron Tail in the last fight, and probably needed some kind of special attention.

"Here, can you have a look at my Victreebel?" He took out the Pokeball and released the Pokemon, who promptly attempted to digest its master.

"…ttenruB oeL !lived eht era sdik4 dna ttenruB oeL" James cried from inside the overly-affectionate bell. It finally spit him out. James shook his head. "Yech. It smells in there."

Nurse Joy giggled at the odd behavior of her new customer. "Have you ever thought of training it not to do that?"

"Well, I'm trying to train it to eat Jessie instead."

She laughed. "All right then. Here, let me have a look at it…" She picked it up and started checking it for injurues.

_Meanwhile…_

"What the hell are you guys doing here!?" Brock was livid. After spending a somewhat pleasant evening with someone who had used to be his enemy, he was not particularly pleased to step outside and find his friends suspiciously hanging round.

"Oh Brock, we're just enjoying the night air." Misty said, with as much innocence as she could muster.

Jessie caught the scheming glint in Misty's eye. "You're up to something, you little twerp." Her voice was hard.

"We are not! Why are you jumping to conclusions like that?" Misty was still trying to act innocent.

"I'm not stupid! Now what do you want from us?"

"Nothing! Well actually, since you're here, I would like to ask you something…"

"Ah-ha! I KNEW YOU WERE PLOTTING SOMETHING!"

"I AM NOT!"

"ARE TO!"

"SHUT UP YOU OLD HAG!"

"Oh no. You did _not_ just call me old."

"OLDOLDOLDOLDOLD!"

"WELL, YOU'RE A BITCH!"

"Hey!" Brock cut in. "Stop abusing caps lock!"

"STAY OUT OF THIS!" The two redheads shouted back at him.

Brock was furious. This was not ending how he'd hoped. He had been planning something more along the lines of a hotel and wine with roofie in it.

"You two are giving me a headache! I'm going for a walk…" But the girls were already back at each others throats. So Brock left unnoticed.


	10. Chapter 9: Run Away!

To my reviewers:

Koichi: Yep, I hate 4kids as well. I was in a bashing mood. And thanks for getting the backwards-masked joke. I just love that video so much. I laughed for a week when I saw it. Eric Stuart became my God that day. I dunno about the roofie though, it could. Haha. I don't know what in the world inspired me to put that in there. As far as GrassLoverShipping, I can try to write one for ya. I'm not particularly great at romance fics, but I'll try. Maybe after this one.

Woopa: Thanks! I'm glad you like it.

RainbowNeko: No problem. Thank you for reviewing now. And yay for getting my backwards joke!

EnnatheMighty: Thanks! And thanks for reading! (I'm particularly proud of that one, myself. Hehehe.)

Fang: Indeed.

Sydney: Thanks! I try to get some jokes in there. They just come to me as I write, I guess.

Zombie: Together. I'm making this up as I go right now.

Zombie 2: It's a backwards-masking joke. James said that same thing Backwards in Victreebel in one of the episodes. Leo Burnett is some kind of advertising guy. I don't remember. I looked him up, though.

**Chapter nine: Run Away!**

Ash and Meowth cast sideways glances at each other. Since Brock slipped away, the two of them had been trying to calm down the bitch fest that was Misty and Jessie. Ash doubted that they noticed that Brock had gone. Meowth doubted that they knew what the hell they were fighting about.

"YOUR MOTHER WAS A HAMSTER!" Jessie shrieked.

"YOUR FATHER SMELT OF ELDERBERRIES!" Misty thundered.

"Hey, knock it off! That's probably copyrighted!" Ash shouted at the top of his lungs, trying to calm them down.

They both turned around and faced Ash. "GO AWAY! WE'RE BUSY!"

Upon saying that, they turned back to each other and began screaming again.

"I'm amazed dat da two of dem haven't lost dere voices yet," Meowth noticed.

"I'm amazed that they care only about arguing now, rather than the purpose of the argument," Ash replied.

"Maybe we'd better get outa here. I'm tinking dat Brock and James had da right idea," Meowth offered.

"For once, Meowth, I think you have a good idea." Ash nodded.

So, while Jessie shouted something about artichokes and Misty screeched something about shrubberies, Ash and Meowth followed the lead of their friends and left.

_Meanwhile…_

Brock was wandering aimlessly around, not really having any destination other then away from the ear-splitting crazy girls.

_What was I thinking?_ Brock chided himself. _How did I end up on a date with Jessie in the first place?_ He was pretty sure it had been Misty's idea somehow, but he was much too lazy to go find and reread chapter one in order to figure it out.

His walk was interrupted by the noise of a familiar-sounding voice shouting what sounded like muffled, suspiciously-backwards-sounding gibberish. He turned in the direction of the sound and saw James in the window of a Pokemon center, or at least he thought it was James. It was difficult to tell because he was up to his ankles in Victreebel. After being regurgitated, James said something to the Nurse Joy tending the center and she laughed.

_Nurse Joy!_ Brock thought happily. _There's a good excuse for going in there._

Brock made his way towards the center.

_Meanwhile…_

"I BLOW MY NOSE AT YOU— Hey, where'd everybody go?" For a moment, Misty snapped out of her argument to notice that she and Jessie were alone.

"I FART IN YOUR GENERAL DIREC— Hey, you're right!" Jessie also scanned her surroundings and saw that indeed, they were alone.

"Where do you think they went?" Misty inquired.

"Hmm, I don't know. Away from here?" Jessie shrugged.

"I guess."

"When do you think we lost 'em?" Jessie asked flatly.

"Probably around 'You empty-headed animal food trough wiper.' Or thereabouts."

"Yep."

"So twerp-girl, what to you propose we do now? _You've_ successfully scared away everyone."

"Oh, _I_ scared them off, did I?"

"That's right, you did!"

"All right, look," Misty was calm again, "we need to stop bickering and go find them."

"Yeah, you're right." Jessie looked defeated. "Let's go before I change my mind."

"Always have to have the last word, huh?"

"Word."

"Oh ha-ha. Very funny. You know, you – hey look, a coconut!"

"Stop being distracted by things!"

_Meanwhile…_

"Hi there." Brock offered. He wasn't entirely sure how to make his entrance, but figured it would be surprising and awkward no matter how he did it. He was right. James jumped at least six inches in the air.

"Oh, um… hi." He finally replied meekly.

"So… whatcha doin' here?"

"Nothing really. Hiding from the insane people."

"Yeah, that sounds about right." Brock nodded, chuckling a little. He walked over and sat down next to James.

"Well, this is a fine mess we've all gotten ourselves into, not isn't it?"

"Yep." James' sentence was punctuated by his rumbling stomach.

Brock looked at him skeptically. "Hungry?"

James nodded, wondering what Jessie what do to him if she found him accepting food from a twerp. Then he realized, probably nothing, since she went on a date with him anyway.

"Here, have a sandwich." Brock said, pulling a riceball out of his back and extending it towards James. "Oh wait, that's a doughnut. Hang on." Brock returned the onigiri to his bag and retrieved an identical one. "Here."

"Thanks." James said simply. He knew he should be being mean to Brock and attempting to steal something form him, but he was too tired and confused to really know what he was supposed to do.

Brock spoke again. "Y'know, maybe we should do something to fix this situation."

James liked the sound of that.


	11. Chapter 10: Conversation

_Authors Note:_ For some reason, I was in a Monty Python mood last night. So, I put about a million references to it in the last chapter (hence Ash's copyright comment). Cookie to anyone who finds them all!

To my reviewers:

_Koichi_: Thanks! Yeah, I'm gonna have to do some research before I write that story, though. I actually haven't seen very much of the newer seasons. Haha! But I'll get on it as soon as I'm done with this one.

_Woopa:_ Thanks! And thanks for reviewing.

_Fang:_ Huzzah for sneakiness. Well, I try. Random is my specialty.

_Strawberry: _Thank you! I put a lot of effort into my work, so that's much appreciated.

_Sydney: _ Indeed. That was actually inspired by the Youtube series "4kids hates riceballs." Because it's true! And hilarious.

_Rezzelia_: Hey, thanks for actually coming! I'm glad you like it.

**Chapter ten: Conversation**

"They must have gone this way!" Jessie insisted. She pointed east of the restaurant where she and Misty had been fighting only moments before.

"No, no, no!" Misty shook her head. "They went that way!" She pointed west.

"That's impossible twerp. And just how would you know, anyway? It's not like you saw them leave."

"You didn't see them leave either!" Misty shot back. "And besides, it's much more likely that they went this way. There's lots of buildings and lights to the west. They surely wanted something to do, so they would head into the city."

"That's where you're wrong." Jessie responded coolly. "They left because they were sick and tired of us and fighting and everything that was happening. It's obvious that they went east, away from the city and into the forest to relax."

"Ridiculous! They went west."

"East."

"WEST!"

"EAST!"

"Okay look." Misty took a deep breath to calm herself. "We can't keep fighting or we'll never accomplish anything."

Jessie reluctantly nodded in agreement. "How about we play rock, paper, scissors. Winner picks which way we go."

"All right! Sounds like a plan." Misty held out her fist, ready to play.

"On three." Jessie said.

"One, two THREE!"

Misty pulled rock and Jessie pulled God.

"Wait a minute, that's not fair!" Misty pouted.

"Oh of course, how silly of me. Not playing fair. Because I've never done_ that_ before." Jessie's voice was dripping with sarcasm.

"Oh all right, point taken." Misty sighed with defeat.

Proudly, Jessie marched forward, towards the forest where Ash and Meowth were headed, and away from the Pokemon center with James and Brock.

_Meanwhile…_

"Okay, I have a question." Brock turned to James.

James looked up to acknowledge Brock's comment.

The two of them had decided that the best course of action was to simply sit in the Pokemon Center for now and wait. They had abandoned the thought of fixing the situation, especially after Brock listened to a few of James' crackpot theories on what might help, and decided simply letting it work itself out was the best bet. Neither was in a particular rush to get back to the rest of their respective groups anyway, whatever they may be doing. So, they lounged on the couch drinking soda (from which James had eagerly taken the bottle caps) and talking about nothing in particular.

"So, what's the deal with the rose?"

James frowned. "What do you mean by that?"

"Why do you always have one?"

"What are you talking about? I haven't carried a rose around since season one."

"Well, it still pops up from time to time. Regardless, why _did_ you have it?"

"Well, I liked to leave them at crime scenes. It was kind of my way of, I dunno, mocking the police and whatnot." James confessed.

"Oh." Brock seemed interested. "Why'd you stop?"

"I didn't stop completely. When ever we go do some random bank heist or something, I always have one around. We're not always failures, you know."

"I never thought of that. But why not us?"

"Well, there's no need to expect any kind of crime scene around you guys anymore. It's pretty much guaranteed that we're going to lose."

"Well, that's not a very positive attitude."

"Why are you encouraging me? We're enemies, remember?"

"Oh yeah." Brock chuckled embarrassedly. "Sometimes it doesn't seem that way, huh."

James sat back and put his hands behind his head. "Nah, deep down, you know you like us."

_Meanwhile…_

"Great going twerp, you've gotten us lost!" Meowth lashed out at Ash.

Ash was busy studying a nearby tree. "I'm positive we've passed this tree before!" He declared to Meowth, who was now sweatdropping.

"ALL DA TREES LOOK DA SAME!" He cried. He jumped at Ash and launched a Fury Swipes, leaving him all scratched up.

"Ow, what was that for, you –" Ash cut his sentence short when he heard a rustling in the bushes near where he and the cat were standing.

Meowth heard it too. "What's that sound?"

Both of them stood, ready for whatever was going to pop out at them. But nothing quite prepared them for the sight that came parading out of the bushes in their direction; a very proud-looking Jessie and a very bored-looking Misty.

Ash and Meowth were crestfallen. "Aww, I thought we'd finally escaped from you guys." Ash said. He immediately wished he hadn't.

"And what's _that_ supposed to mean!" The bitches shouted, their heads growing.

"Now ladies, ladies please. Let's all get along here." Meowth stepped in, attempting to bring peace.

"Meowth is right!" Misty said. "We need to go find James and Brock and talk this over."

"Well, there's a problem with your theory." Jessie countered. "None of us know where they are."


	12. Chapter 11: Captain Obvious

This chapter is dedicated to Bianca! Happy 16th birthday, best friend!

To my reviewers:

_Bianca:_ Thankee, my biggest fan. I wondered as well; that's why I wrote about it. Haha.

_Koichi:_ Yeah, I've always thought the two fit together well. And yes, I've seen every "4kids hates riceballs" video on Youtube. That was a big inspiration for that joke. And indeed, Ash and Meowth might be in trouble.

_Fang:_ Indeed we do. Irony is a beautiful thing.

_Jazzykid: _Thanks! I know; I love the rose. Haha.

**Chapter 11: Captain Obvious**

"Maybe we should head back into the city." Ash suggested. "They're probably there."

Ash, Meowth, Jessie, and Misty were all seated on the grass in a small clearing, trying to figure out their next course of action. Ash was pacing nervously, apparently the most agitated at the situation. Meowth was sitting with his back against a tree, trying to convince Misty to scratch his ears. Jessie was busy trying to stuff Pikachu into her shirt. She wasn't having much success.

"Or," Ash began excitedly, his pacing increasing in momentum, "Maybe we could split up and search!"

"I have a better idea." Meowth chimed in calmly. "Let's stop worrying and just… relax…" He sighed contentedly, as Misty had finally conceded and begun stroking his fur.

"Maybe you guys should wait here," Jessie began, speaking with difficulty as she tried to subdue the yellow mouse she was hiding, "and I'll go look for them."

"That's a stupid idea." Misty said hotly, almost stepping on Jessie's words.

"Pikaaaaa… Pikachu!"

"Hey!" Ash stopped pacing and listened. "Did you hear something?"

Jessie jumped in with a quick response. "Nope. No, not a thing. Nothing at all." Pikachu loosed a small spark from within Jessie's clothes and she jumped a little bit and squealed.

"Jessie, is something wrong?" The others looked at her.

"Uh… just had a small wardrobe malfunction. But it's fine. It's all fine now. Everything's fine. How are you?" She turned her body away from them, but on the last part twisted her head back to look at them and put on a large grin.

The others looked like they were going to say something, but discovered they didn't need to, as Pikachu did that for them.

"Pika… CHUUUUUUUU!" Finally fed up with the Rocket's behavior, Pikachu discharged a weak Thunderbolt and stunned Jessie. He then proceeded to climb out of her top and run to the center of the clearing.

Misty rolled her eyes and Meowth stifled a laugh, but Ash looked flabbergasted.

"Jessie! Did you have Pikachu in your shirt that whole time?" His eyes grew wide.

Everyone, including the charred Jessie, looked at him and sweatdropped.

"Are you really dat dense, twerp?" Meowth inquired, now totally unable to control his laughter. He rolled onto the ground in hysterics.

Ash's expression was blank. "I don't get it."

"Ash! How stupid are you? Take a hint!" Misty shouted at him, scolding the trainer from across the clearing.

"Um… sorry, guys." Ash looked embarrassed.

Misty began speaking again. "How about we all just go into the city and look for places where Brock and James might be. They must be there somewhere, and sitting here doing nothing isn't going to find them any faster. I propose we just walk around until we find 'em. It's not a big city. It won't take long!" By the end of this little speech Misty was standing up, slamming the bottom of her fist into her hand repeatedly as if she were some kind of debate team leader.

The others seemed inspired by this speech. The only exception was Meowth, who was mourning the loss of his masseuse.

Ash, eager to forget his previous experience, was instantly taken by the idea. "All right! Let's go!" He turned on his heel and started marching out of the woods, followed by a pleased Misty, a fried Jessie, and a sad Meowth.

_Meanwhile…_

"Are you serious? Nothing at all?" Brock was surprised.

He and James had been talking for quite some time now, and the conversation had drifted to Jessie. Brock was quizzing James on his feelings about her.

"Nope." James responded. He shook his head.

"There's no way!" Brock was still in shock. "You've gotta feel _something!"_

"No! Look, we've been friends since we were kids! It's more of a… sibling… thing." James tried to explain.

"I don't care what you say." Brock stated. "You've got to think she's hot. Somewhere deep down."

"No! Not at all!" James crossed his arms. "It's just not like that."

"Come on. Either she's hot, or you're gay."

"_What?"_ James was not particularly pleased with this new theory of Brock's.

Brock studied him. "Oh my God, you're gay."

"I am not! You're crazy."

"Don't worry." Brock grinned and patted James on the back. "Your secret's safe with me."

"What _secret?_" James cried, incredulous. "There is no _secret_ here! Just you and your crackpot theories!"

Brock was ignoring him. "Of course! It all makes sense now! I mean, I suppose I had my suspicions, especially after the 'flaming Moltres' incident from one of the early seasons. But I always thought it couldn't be because of Jessie… but if there's no Jessie…" Brock was contemplative, carefully weighing the situation in his mind.

James was completely belligerent. "What the _hell_ are you talking about? I… you… this is ridiculous!" James stammered. He was at a loss for words in how to accurately portray his growing rage.

But Brock wasn't listening to him. He was still theorizing on how he might be able to make things work with Jessie after all.


	13. Another note: Read this one too

When I started this story, I didn't know that it was going to be this long. I started putting the bare bones of a plot together, and I thought "well, this'll just be a fun little oneshot." But after I'd finished a chapter's worth of writing without even getting officially started, I figured, "okay, maybe it'll be like four chapters."

Heh heh heh.

(Of course, this may be partly due to the fact that I have a bad habit of spending too much time on dialogue and not enough moving things forward.)

Well, now I'm at chapter 11 and I have no idea how much longer it's going to go on. If any of you have noticed, the plot has already expanded far beyond what I'd planned at first (the summary carries through about chapter six, except of course for my promise of plot twists which has yet to be fulfilled.)

Besides, at this point, I'm pretty much completely, totally, 100% making this up as I go along. I don't know what each new chapter will hold until I'm writing it. The only thing I know is how it's going to end. But I don't know how I'm going to get there. I hope it just falls into place as I write. There could be two more chapters; there could be ten. I don't know yet.

Basically, this fic has become an adventure. And you're all going on it with me.

Next chapter will be up tomorrow.


	14. Chapter 12: Behavioral Problems

Yaah! I'm so sorry for the wait and the short chapter you guys! I've been super busy the past couple days. I'm touring colleges, I have auditions later this week for my local theatre group, and I'm starting school soon. But I'm here now, I promise. Got stuff all worked out. The chapters will be regular and of normal length again from now on, I promise. ^^

To my reviewers:

_Koichi:_ Hah. Yes, I'm stabbing 4kids all over the place lately. Oh, and I know the purpose behind the disguises as well. Apparently, male villains that dressed as women were regarded in higher honor because they were willing to do anything to get the job done or something like that. I don't really think he's gay. It's just good for a joke.

_Bianca:_ You're welcome. Hehehe.

_Fang:_ Thankee.

_RainbowNeko:_ I would love you forever if you sent me a copy of it. I'll dedicate a chapter to you. Haha.

_Sydney:_ Poor James, indeed.

_Bluestar2356_: Thanks! But don't make assumptions until you read the whole thing. Even _I_ don't know where I'm going with this, so I assure you, you do not. Bwahaha.

**Chapter 12: Behavioral Problems**

"Where are we?" Meowth whined.

"Um… we're… hang on, I think we're right here!" Misty pointed to a place on the map near the entrance to the town.

"Uh, Misty?" Ash said tentatively.

"What?" She whipped around to glare at him.

"You're map is upside-down." Ash replied, stifling a laugh.

_You inexcusable dolts! _Pikachu thought irritably. _How foolish can you be!?_

Ash misinterpreted his Pokemon's body language. "Hey, what's wrong buddy. You hungry?"

_No I'm not hungry you imbecile! Someday I will destroy you._

"Don't worry, Pikachu. I'll get you some food in a little bit."

_Ugh…_

"Why is this stupid map so hard to read!? I hate maps!" She threw it to the ground to prove her point.

"How did youse twerps get anywhere if you can't even read a map?" Meowth asked, chuckling.

Ash and Misty looked at each other. "Brock always controlled the maps."

Jessie and Meowth sweatdropped.

_Meanwhile…_

"Look, just because I don't like Jessie doesn't mean I'm – and you're asleep." James' voice fell on the last part of his sentence as he noticed Brock was conked out on the couch they had been sitting on. He sighed. "Why do I even bother?" James slumped down in his seat and proceeded to dramatically sulk.

They had been debating lightly for a while about a number of different topics, and Brock kept steering the conversation back to James'… preferences. He seemed very intent to prove his theory. Until, of course, James went on a long rant and he dozed off.

The couch shifted when James flopped lower, and Brock stirred and yawned. "G'mornin…" He mumbled sleepily.

"Hi there." James said shortly, still acting insulted.

"I'm tired."

"I noticed." James sighed loudly, then looked at Brock. But the twerp still didn't seem to notice his overacted displays of displeasure, so he dropped the act and spoke to Brock, deciding to address what he'd been thinking about for awhile.

"You've been acting really weird lately, even for a twerp."

"I have not!" Brock quickly turned defensive.

_Too_ defensive.


	15. Chapter 13: What?

This chapter is dedicated to RainbowNeko! Thanks for the amazingly funny gif!

To my reviewers:

_Koichi:_ Thanks! I don't know; it just came to me in a random flash of brilliance. Yes, poor James. I'm being really harsh on him lately. And you don't get to find out Brock's secret for probably a few more chapters… or whenever I figure it out.

_Fang:_ Yeah, suspense. What have I gotten myself into now?

_RainbowNeko:_ Beautiful.

_Sydney:_ Thanks! Boy, this Pikachu thing is really a hit.

**Chapter thirteen: What?**

"Okay, I'm sure we've passed that tree before." Ash pointed at a tree near where the small group of enemies were standing.

"How would you know dat, ALL DA TREES LOOK DA SAME!" Meowth exploded waving his arms.

"Well, that one has green leaves."

"DEY ALL HAVE GREEN LEAVES!"

"No, I'm pretty sure that one's are a deeper green. Look, they're more of a jade color, whilst all the other trees have more of an olive tinge. Don't you see it?"

"Youse is colorblind."

"Am not!"

"Ya are too!"

"SILENCE!" Jessie pulled her magic appearing mallet out of thin air and proceeded to flatten Meowh and Ash into the ground.

"Hey, what didja do that for?" Ash sprang back up and glared ad Jessie, rubbing his head where a large lump was forming.

"Because you annoy me." Jessie crossed her arms.

"Oww, my whiskers…" Meowth moaned, also boinging back to his feet.

Misty chuckled lightly. "You two look like slinkies."

"Maybe we should push 'em down a flight of stairs," the still-steaming Jessie offered.

_I'd be forever in your debt, _Pikachu thought. _In fact, why don't you push them off the Eiffel Tower?_

"Pika, pika. Pikachu!" The Pokemon attempted to voice his feelings.

"Aww, look! Now you're scaring Pikachu!" Ash scolded, scooping up his yellow companion and hugging him tightly.

_Put me down you nitwit! I swear, next time those bumbling villains try to capture me, I shall leap willingly into their nets!_

"Don't worry, Pikachu. Nothings gonna happen to me," Ash assured his friend.

_I wouldn't be so sure._

_Meanwhile…_

"Stop staring at me!" Brock cried loudly, glaring at James.

James, who had given up on talking to Brock since he began acting like a crackhead and had been polishing his bottle caps for several minutes, looked up with a start.

"Hmm?" He said distractedly.

"What do you want?" Brock snapped.

"What's wrong? Is it past your twerpy bedtime or something?"

"What? No… look… okay, never mind." Brock shook his head. "Just forget about it. Hey, I'm tired of sitting here doing nothing. Maybe we should go out and look for everyone else. They don't even know we're here, and they could be worrying or something." Brock's face brightened with this new thought.

"Well, okay." James stood up, still slightly confused by Brock's strange behavior.

"I guess it's time we worked things out. I mean, everyone's probably cooled off by now. I think we all need to talk. This has been a very strange and complicated evening." Brock's demeanor had by this point totally changed. He was now acting very chipper and bright, apparently rejuvenated by the thought of wandering around a strange city at night. He motioned for James to follow and started out the door.

"A strange evening," James repeated quietly. "Yeah, I'll say." He followed Brock outside.

Brock turned around. "Come on, hurry up!" He began walking off down the road.

James caught up with him. "Hey, do you wanna tell me what's gotten into you?"

"Nothing! I'm just acting totally normal. Now shh, let's enjoy the sounds of the city."

James frowned, but gave up. He figured that this wasn't a good time to push Brock for answers. He wondered briefly if this was just how he always acted. He'd never been around him long enough to know. He didn't think so, but decided to worry about it later.

Brock, however, was not simply taking in the sounds of the city as he had suggested. His mind was turning, as he attempted to form a new plan.


	16. Chapter 14: Seeing the Light

Holy crap, guys! I've been super-busy! But now I'm back from the land of the dead, and the updates shall commence once again. I hope you fans haven't all left me, haha! Just in case you haven't, I'll reply to my last reviews as I usually do:

To my reviewers:

_Flare_: …

_Koichi:_ Ooh, great idea! I wish I'd thought of that, (So no, I guess.). And thanks! Yes, Brock is being mysterious. What is he planning? Even I don't know!

_Fang:_ Thanks! I try. Humor is fun, and easier than I thought.

_Sydney:_ Haha! Yes, I'll try and get the plot moving as soon as possible.

_Earthbound:_ Thanks! Haha, enjoy the story!

**Chapter 14: Seeing the Light**

"Hey, do youse guys see a light ahead?" Meowth inquired.

"A light?" Ash squinted. "Hmm… nope! I don't see it. Are you sure you're not seeing things?"

"Maybe he's dying!" Misty chirped, with much more enthusiasm then she should have been showing. "Goooooooooo intooooooo the liiiiiiiiiiiight…" she chided. "Goooooooo intoooooooo—hey! I see it too!" She suddenly perked up and squinted ahead.

"Salvation!" Jessie cried. She began sprinting in the assumed direction of this so-called light.

"Yeah, I definitely see it now!" Ash cried gleefully. "It must be a way back to the city!" He followed Jessie's lead.

_Don't follow that crazy broad! _Pikachu thought irritably. _Have you forgotten that she tried to stuff me into her shirt a few chapters ago? I'm still going to have nightmares. Nightmares, you infernal nuisance!_

"Pika pika pi! Chuuuu!" He waved his tiny arms frantically. _She's not to be trusted!_

Ash, as usual, misunderstood. "That's right, buddy! We're going back to town now!"

"Pikaaaaa…" _Moron._

"YAHOOOOOOOO! Civilization, here I come!" Misty, her Meowth-killing forgotten, chased after the others.

Meowth sighed. "Nobody thanks Meowth when _he_ saves the day…" He sighed dramatically and sulked after the others, dragging his feet.

_Meanwhile…_

"Hey Brock, hows about you walk a little slower?" James called, jogging up to the twerps side.

"Hmm? Oh sorry." Brock was still distracted, tuning the blue- (or purple, if you insist)-haired Rocket out. He slowed down a bit, but presently forgot what he was doing and picked his pace up again after a few minutes.

James groaned loudly in an attempt to get Brock's attention, but he took no notice and continued walking, now muttering to himself.

James pouted and angrily blew a strand of hair out of his face. (*Fangirl scream*) His patience was thinning. He ran up to Brock again and jumped in front of him, cutting him off. Brock barely noticed. James grabbed his arm and stopped him from continuing his Walk of Thoughts.

"Okay, look," James stated flatly, "I don't know what you think you're doing, but you'd better tell me what's going on."

Brock snapped out of his trance. "Hmph. If you must know, I'm plotting something."

James suddenly looked cheerful. "Ooh, plotting!" He squealed (yes, squealed,) "Can I help! I'm good at plotting!"

Brock thought about it again, and then realized that it might not be a bad idea. Of course, he'd have to keep some details to himself, but help was help.

"All right!" He exclaimed deviously. "Let's plot. Here's what I've been thinking so far…"


	17. Chapter 15: Bad Thoughts

To my reviewer (yes, that's singular this time. Come back, my fans! Haha):

_Koichi: _ I know you hate Misty. Bear with me, haha. Glad you're still loving Pikachu. Yeah, James might be in some trouble here. Just look what I'm about to do to him!

**Chapter 15: Bad Thoughts**

"Are you _sure_ this is a good idea?" James whined skeptically. "Didn't she scare you off or something?"

"I don't remember!" Brock answered proudly. "It's been a long night, okay? I just want to find Jessie and talk to her about this."

"Why?" James' voice was deadpan.

"I don't know." Brock announced, pointing upwards knowingly.

James sweatdropped. "Maybe we should just go back to being enemies. That was so much less confusing."

Brock chuckled. "Well, you know what they say: Keep your friends close and your enemies closer!" _And the ones you love even closer than that!_ He thought deviously, glancing behind him.

"I don't need to be any closer to you twerps." James muttered. He crossed his arms turned his head away.

Brock grabbed his arm. "Look, don't worry about it! Let's just find the others and then we can figure things out from there!"

"Why are you touching me?"

"Quit whining." Brock started dragging the poor helpless Rocket along the quiet back alley road they were taking. For awhile they walked in silence, not really having anything to say. As they walked, however, the road grew darker and less friendly. Brock was the first to notice, and he paused suddenly for a moment to look around. James walked into him.

"Oww! What's wrong?"

"This road seems kind of suspicious. I think we made a wrong turn."

"We? What is this _we_ you're talking about. _You're_ the one dragging _me_!"

Brock cast him a this-is-not-the-time-for-an-argument glare. "Fine. _I_ made a wrong turn."

"Damn right…" James mumbled. He was growing irritated with the situation.

Their thoughts were interrupted by the sound of shuffling feet near them.

Brock frowned as the feet grew louder. "I think we're in trouble."

_Meanwhile…_

"Ahhh, it feels good to finally be out of that forest after so many chapters!" Misty squealed excitedly. She took a deep breath of air and laughed.

"It sure does!" Ash exclaimed, walking up beside her.

Misty grabbed Ash's hand. "Isn't the moon pretty tonight?"

"It looks like a giant ball of cheese!" Ash answered proudly.

Misty sighed and let go. "Never mind." She was suddenly a little peeved.

"What's wrong, Misty?"

"Nothing, Ash."

"Are you sure?"

"YES! Jeez!" She threw her hands up in the air and stormed off.

Ash scratched his head. "Women."

"Tell me about it." Meowth said knowingly, coming up from behind Ash and startling him. "I could live in a world without women, thank you very much." He started licking his paw and cleaning his head with it. It was about as cute as the diabolical cat could look.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Ash laughed.

"I'm always right."

_Meanwhile…_

"Hey! Who's there?" Brock called loudly. His hand went to the Pokeballs on his belt.

"Yeah, what he said!" James cried nervously, clinging to Brock's vest and attempting to blend in with it.

They were greeted by a low chuckle and a deep voice coming from somewhere in front of the pair. "Well well, looks like we've got a couple of lost trainers here."

Another voice from behind them spoke up. This one was clearly the voice of a comic-relief sidekick. "You said it, boss. Lost trainers."

"DON'T IMITATE ME!"

"Yes sir!" The second voice cracked.

"Imbicile. Anyway"—here his voice switched from annoyed back to frightening—"Hand over your Pokemon, fools!" The owner of the voice stepped forward form the shadows. He wasn't particularly tall, but made up for that with bulk. He had a wide head with slick blonde hair that clung to his head. His eyes were close together and shiny with evil intentions. He wore dark jeans and a white vest with a popped collar. James bit back the urge to mock his ridiculous sense of style. He said instead, "Hey! You can't steal Pokemon from a Pokemon thief! Go find your own victim!" He stepped forward and looked the hulk in the eyes.

Brock took a step backwards, mildly impressed that James was capable of something other than running away. He watched with interest, ready to call forth his partners at any moment for help if it was needed.

The bulbous thug walked towards James and grabbed his collar, apparently displeased with being stood up to. Again, however, James surprised Brock by simply smiling into his face. He realized however, that James was no longer looking at the giant. His eyes were flicking around the alley.

_Is he plotting something?_ Brock was nervous. The last thing he needed was for James to come up with some hairbrained scheme to get them in even deeper trouble than they were in. Then again, _he_ certainly didn't have any ideas, and James looked pretty confident. Brock decided, with a gulp, to go along with whatever the Rocket was plotting.

And hope he survived.


	18. Chapter 16: Good Idea

_To my one and only reviewer, Koichi:_

I'm afraid too! I need to give some characters besides Meowth and Pikachu good lines, eh? Hahaha. I hope I can get James to come out of this looking awesome but still in-character.

**Chapter 16: Good Idea**

"Kekekekeke, you two've really stepped in it this time!" The secondary voice cackled, making Brock jump in surprise. He'd almost forgotten the guy was there. He wheeled around to face the direction of the sound.

"Us? Hah! It's _you_ who should be afraid! You don't know who you're messing with!" Brock cried, waving his fist in the air and sounding much more confident then he felt.

"Kekeke…" Suddenly, Brock felt someone grab his shoulder. The voice had somehow managed to get behind him. Brock whipped around again and found himself face to face with what he could only describe as a piece of old leather.

The man facing him had more wrinkles than a wadded-up shirt. The strange thing was he didn't look very old. Brock wondered faintly if he just spent a lot of time in the sun. After a moment, he remembered that he should probably be doing something to stop this guy from doing whatever it was he wanted to do.

"Gooooooo, Onyx!" Brock took his Pokeball from his belt and theatrically launched it into the air (with a long windup beforehand, of course) and shouted to the sky.

The leather man stuck his finger in his ear and pouted. "Didn't quite catch that. Wanna be any louder?"

Brock kneeled, his face shadowed in blue. "Quiet you." He pouted softly.

In a matter of seconds, he was on his feet again. "Forget it! Onyx, bind this sarcastic wineskin!"

The giant rock obeyed his beloved master and wrapped himself around said wineskin. He struggled fruitlessly for awhile, but managed to eventually pull a Pokeball of his own out of his jacket pocket. He tossed it in the air (with difficulty) and released his own partner.

"Come out, Honchkrow!"

A large bird Pokemon promptly materialized out of the capsule.

"Get me out of this bind!" (4kids-style pun intended).

The crow dived at Onyx with glowing steel wings and gave it a nasty whack on the head. Surprised, he loosened his grip on the thug, allowing him to slip out.

"Onyx, tackle!" Brock responded immediately.

Onyx wasted no time and slammed into the Honchkrow, sending it into the wall right next to where thug #1 and James were standing.

James, who had been in mid-sentence of a fashion lecture, paused when thug #1 got distracted and turned away.

_Finally! A distraction._

He slipped out of the man's slackened grip on his shirt and grabbed onto the handle of a fire escape ladder that was hanging from the building they were standing against. He scuttled up a couple of steps, but froze when the goon turned back and looked around, confused about the disappearance of his victim. James glanced up and saw another opportunity hanging just above his head.

"Honchkrow, use peck!" The wrinkled man cried.

Brock ducked as the angry bird attempted to take his head off. _Man, this guy is serious!_ He turned to watch as the bird, startled by the miss, tried to swoop upwards but couldn't manage in time and ended up with his beak jammed into the building.

Up on the ladder, James nearly lost his balance at the impact. He gripped the ladder harder and hoped that the goon wouldn't spot him for a few more seconds. Several feet above his head was a small window garden, with the hose hanging across all the pots and down several feet. James, now secure again, reached up and grabbed the hose, giving it a good yank. His idea worked (shokingly): the hose knocked the pots off the ledge and crashing to the ground, where one of them smashed on the big goon's foot and the other one nailed his head.

Thuggy didn't know weather to grab his foot or his head, so he sufficed himself by attempting to soothe both and ending up in a heap on the floor.

James punched the air in victory at the same time that Onyx tackled the Honchkrow in the wall, and moments later found himself picking his head up off the ground, feeling dazed. He looked over his shoulder to see a very angry man with a very large lump on his head moving towards him.

_Meanwhile…_

"I'm sure we've passed that building before!" As declared, stopping in his tracks.

The others all crashed to the ground with sweatdrops.

Pikachu sighed. _We've been going in a _straight line_ you jackass!_

"No, you stupid brat, we have NOT passed this building before! Just shut your twerpy mouth!" Jessie screeched, leaping to her feet and standing over him.

Pikachu silently thanked her.

"Hey look, there's a Pokemon center!" Misty noticed, pointing up the street. "Maybe we should go there and ask if anyone's seen Brock or James."

"Meowth! And get something to eat while we're at it!" Meowth agreed loudly.

"Yeah! The Pokemon center! Okay, let's go." Ash chirped.

The small group made their way to the building presently and entered. The Nurse Joy greeted them cheerfully. "Hello there, travelers! Welcome to the Pokemon center!" She grinned at them.

Misty prepared herself to drag Brock away from the smiling Joy before remembering that he wasn't there. She sighed and sat down.

"Is something the matter?" Joy asked her.

"Oh no, just tired."

"Yes, we've been getting quite a collection of tired people tonight. There were a couple of guys in here earlier that were exhausted themselves!"

The group perked up. "Where'd they go?!" They shouted in unison.

"Um, I don't know." The Joy admitted, slightly confused. "I don't interrogate all my guests."

They sighed again. This was going to be a long night.


	19. Chapter 17: Clang, Bang

**Quick Note: Koichi pointed out a fatal flaw in my time scheme. At one point in the story, I said that this was taking place in Kanto around episode 100, and then I give the bad guy a Honchkrow which doesn't come around until the DP generation. That's what happens in an unplanned story, hehehe. Well, too late now to fix it, so I'm just gonna leave it a Honchkrow. Forgive me!**

Okay guys, this one's gonna be short. It's late and I had a lot of homework, so my brain's kinda fried. But, I didn't put up a chapter yesterday, so it's only fair that I do today. ^^;

To my reviewers:

_Koichi:_ Yeah, I figured James deserved a little credit. After all, this fic was supposed to center around him and that hasn't exactly happened yet. Oh you and your predictions. You have to be careful with those, because remember, even I don't know! Haha.

_Tre'zinn:_ Thanks! I try very hard to keep everyone in-character, or as close to that as possible, so I appreciate the recognition. Yeah, we all hate 4kids, huh. Though I have to admit, Pokemon is actually one of their better dubs (surprisingly.) I mean, when compared to the abomination that is the 4kids One Piece dub, or others in the same tier.

**Chapter 17: Clang, Bang**

"Oww… my beautiful head…" James grumbled, slowly forcing himself to sit up.

"Ooh, you're in for it now ya dickhead!" The angry and injured blob shouted, charging (well, limping) towards the dazed Rocket.

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeee!" James squealed in his trademark screech. Suddenly no longer sluggish, he leapt to his feet, head reeling, and turned to run. He made it a grand total of three steps before slamming into Leather Man and sending them both tumbling to the ground.

Brock, seizing the opportunity, didn't waste a second. "Onyx, get the big one!" He cried.

Onyx met the livid man head-on and won. He was sent careening into the wall behind, dazed and groaning loudly.

Meanwhile, James and loser #2 had engaged in a fierce (and I use the term "fierce" lightly) battle on the stony ground. They were a relatively close match, though the leather man seemed to be a bit stronger. They rolled over into the wall of a nearby building, when James got another idea.

He lifted his head up so he was leaning against the wall and tried to look defeated. The other guy aimed a punch at his head, but James ducked out of the way and he ended up punching the wall instead. He backed off, clutching his hand and howling in pain.

James chuckled. _Wow, my idea worked again. This must be some kind of record!_

But his luck was running short. The wrinkled goon recovered faster than he expected and pinned him to the wall.

_Shit!_

Brock was busy trying to keep the huge man in check. He seemed to be able to keep him down with Onyx, when the Honchkrow unpinned itself from the wall and charged him again. In a sudden burst of thought, he leaped behind the enormous thug. He heard the pleasing bonk noise of a beak slamming into a forehead as the man angrily swatted at his friend's bird Pokemon.

However, he was distracted from his small victory by the sound of a very loud clang coming from near the wall. He glanced back to see James clutching his face but grinning as the small man fell to the ground, stunned by a giant rock that had nailed him in the head.

He tumbled over, unconscious.

James and Brock locked eyes.

_One down._


	20. Chapter 18: Split

To my reviewers:

_Tre'zinn: _I try to keep the lengths broken up as much as possible. Makes it more interesting, y'know? Hehe. Yeah, fight scenes are hard to write.

_Koichi_: All in good time, my friend. Hehehe.

_Bianca_: And we thank you for it.

**Chapter 18: Split**

"Let's just walk up and down the street until we find them!" Ash announced, proud of his new idea.

"Let's… not." Misty answered flatly.

"Well what do you suggest we do then, twerp?" Jessie snapped. Her patience was wearing thin (which wasn't saying much).

"We should split up and search for them." Misty retorted.

"Dat's da stupidest idea you've had all night! And _dat's_ sayin' somethin'!" Meowth yelled. "We've spent da whole damn night tryin' to get youse all back together!" He sighed and buried his face in his hands dramatically.

"Well, we'd tell each other where we were going and set a meeting place and time! Jeez, what do you think I am, some kind of moron? Wait, DON'T ANSWER THAT!" Misty said quickly, seeing Meowth's face light up at the chance for such an easy insult.

"Or," Jessie chimed in, "we could sit here and wait for those idiots to come to us."

"Ooh, Meowth likes that idea!" The feline nodded eagerly and sat down.

"NO!" Misty asserted. "The sooner we go find them, the sooner we can all get back to our lives!"

"Misty's right!" Ash agreed, turning to face the two Rockets opposite him. "Let's just go out and look."

"_Or_, we could take a nap and leave Jim and da twerp alone!" Meowth screeched irritably.

"What does that accomplish!?" Misty crossed her arms and glared at the cat.

"It accomplishes some beauty sleep." Meowth stated.

"Hey, I just had a brilliant idea!" Jessie grinned and giggled a bit. "You twerps can go wander around the city, and we can stay here and sleep!"

"Fine! We don't need you around bugging us anyway!" Misty raged. "Come on Ash, we're going!"

"Um, okay…" Ash answered as Misty grabbed him by the arm and yanked him out of the Pokemon Center.

_Meanwhile…_

"Hey, why don't you just go away?" Brock said boldly, crossing his arms.

_Maybe I can just scare him off…_ Brock thought desperately. He realized these thoughts were unfounded when he saw the huge man's fade cloud up with anger.

"Shut up, ya dumb brat!" He spat angrily, reaching into his pocket and retrieving a Pokeball. He activated it and said, "Show these losers who's boss, Tyranitar!"

_Fuck!_

"Hey James, we—hey! Where'd he go?" Brock turned to the general direction of where James had been, only to find him gone.

_Damn coward!_

Brock pushed the thought from his mind and turned back to face his impending doom. "Onix, use throw!" He cried. His obedient Pokemon immediately began chucking rocks at the huge dino, but didn't do much damage (big surprise there).

Thuggy laughed obnoxiously. "Hya hya hya hya hya! You're so stupid. That wimpy attack can't do anything to me! Tyranitar, use Sandstorm!"

Instantly, a huge storm whipped up and began blowing around the alley. Brock shielded his eyes and tried to figure out what to do next.

_Meanwhile…_

"You just _had_ to drag us out of there, didn't you? We don't even know where we're going!"

"It's better than sitting around and doing nothing!" Misty shot back. "I just want this whole crazy night to end."

"It would have ended already if we'd stayed at the center and gone to sleep!"

"SHADDAP!"

Ash suddenly noticed that his feet were crunching on the ground. "What the… look at this!" He pointed down.

Misty looked at the ground.

_What? How's that possible?_

But there it was. Right in the middle of the street, the ground was turning to… sand?


	21. Chapter 19: The End

**There is a time when one must stop and think, "where am I going?" I had that moment with this story earlier today. I took a good long look at it and realized that there is just no way that I'm going to get anything more out of this poor, overdone, abused little fanfiction. So, I'm going to end this humanely. I present to you all, the last chapter of this story. This ending will be unsatisfying, abrupt, comical, and leave the loose ends untied (in keeping with the nature of the entire fic).**

**But when one thing ends, another begins. I'm beginning production on my next fanfiction, which (as I promised my dear friend Koichi) shall be JamesxGardenia. Yay! This one shall actually have a plot and I shall actually stick to it! The first chapter of that should be out tomorrow, if I get my homework finished quickly enough. Keep your eyes open for it!**

To my reviewers:

_Koichi:_ Yeah, this'll be good. Now, to figure out where James went. Haha.

_Tre'zinn:_ Sorry about Ash, I just don't like him much. Plus, I'm trying to mock 4kids by making him an idiot, but maybe I am overdoing it a bit. My bad. And thanks! Yeah, that fight thing worked out… interestingly.

**Chapter 19: The End**

_Ugh, now what am I gonna do?!_ Brock thought angrily. _I can't see, Onyx is tired, and I'm fucking alone!_

He squinted and looked around again, trying to see what was happening.

"ONYX!" He shouted, trying to be louder than the storm. "Are you there?"

_Meanwhile…_

"Hey, did you hear that?" Ash said. "I hear a voice!"

Misty perked up. "Yeah, I hear it too. It sounds like Brock." She turned her head in the direction of the sound. "Brock!?" She called.

"Look at the sand. It gets thicker where his voice is coming from!"

Misty looked down and realized Ash was right. "Yeah, come on! Let's follow it!"

The two ran along the growing trail of sand and found a dark alley totally obscured by a raging sandstorm.

"Hey! Is anyone in there?" Misty shouted into the haze.

"Misty?" They faintly heard Brock (they were sure it was him now) shout back.

"Brock? Can you hear us? Are you okay?"

"I can't see!" Came the muffled reply.

Ash peered warily into the storm. "Well, I guess we should go in after him, then!" Ash announced.

Misty groaned worriedly and grabbed his sleeve. "We'd better stick together."

Ash nodded, then they proceeded to wade into the storm.

Ash shielded his eyes to keep the grains of sand from flying into them. "Brock?" He called again, trying to get his bearings.

"Ash! I'm over here!"

_To the right._ Ash realized. He turned and slowly began walking right, reaching back to make sure Misty was still attached.

"Brock!" He shouted again.

"Ash, I'm—woah!" Brock's much-closer voice was cut short when a huge green tail swung at him and he ducked in the nick of time.

_Oh yeah. That guy._

Brock took a step forward and immediately bumped into Ash and Misty.

"Oh, hi." Brock stammered, startled.

"Where have you been!?" Misty raged.

"I'll tell you when we're not being attacked by an angry green monster. And his Tyranitar." (Rim shot.)

"Right." Misty agreed.

"Okay," Ash decided to try and take charge of the battle. "Pikachu, can you see to blast it with a Thunderbolt?"

_No, you imbecile, I can't fucking see. Did you not notice we're in a sandstorm!_

"I guess not. Um… I sorta left most of my Pokemon at the center…"

Mist and Brock sweatdropped.

"Okay Tyranitar, let's end this!" The evil man's voice rang through the storm. "Use Hyper Beam!"

"Eeeeeeeek!" Misty screeched.

"Onyx!" Brock cried desperately. "Can you do something?"

"Onnnn…" The weak Pokemon responded helplessly.

Suddenly, an enormous _THWAK_ sound rang through the alley. The sandstorm began clearing immediately, revealing Tyranitar and his trainer smashed into the ground with some kind of huge disk on their heads. On top of the disk, which upon further inspection was shown to be a satellite from someone's roof, stood (yep, you guessed it) James, looking very proud of himself.

"That's three for three! I should win some kind of award for this!"

"Oh… it's you…" The three twerps looked less than pleased about their savior.

"Hmph. Well, you're welcome." James pouted.

"Ty…ran…" The injured Tyranitar moaned and stirred slightly, throwing James off-balance.

"Eeeeeeeeee!" He screeched, toppling off the satellite. He crash-landed on Brock and they both slammed into the sandy floor.

"Oww." Brock groaned. He opened his eyes and found a Rocket laying on top of him.

"You have pretty eyes." James commented.

Brock attempted to push him off and ended up rolling into Ash and Misty, and they ended up in a pile.

"Okay, whose arm is that?" Misty snapped.

"I can't feel my head…" James moaned.

"Everyone OFF!" Brock shouted, his voice muffled.

Ash, who was on top, rolled over and got to his knees. Misty followed.

James just groaned. "I need to be held."

Brock just laughed. "Will you move if I do?" He was too delirious to care anymore.

James nodded tiredly.

Brock gave him a hug, and James giggled.

Brock kicked him and struggled to his feet, his face turning red.

"Okay, that was creepy."

James tried to stand up and fell over. "I still can't feel my head… hee hee hee." His laugh was shrill.

"Um… I think he banged his head or something." Misty said curiously.

"Can you help me up?" He asked.

Brock rolled his eyes and pulled the delirious James to his feet.

"Here, I'll help you." Brock gave him support.

James grinned at him and blushed.

Brock just smiled.

_Meanwhile…_

Jessie sat up startlingly. "Uh-oh." She said, worried. "My James-is-doing-something-stupid sense is tingling."

"That practically never shuts off, Jessie," Meowth groaned. "Go to sleep."

_**The End!**_

**Brocketshipping? Only if you want it to be. BWAHAHAHA. SRSLY GAIS, READ MY NEW STORY, COMING OUT TOMORROW. (Everyone will be straight).**

**P.S. I don't actually think James is gay. Or Brock, for that matter. It's just fun to say in stories for comedy purposes. Just misleading dubbing, but mocking 4kids was half the point of this story, after all!**

**Ciao for now, everyone.**


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